The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
