OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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