Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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