Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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