Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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