I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
