I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize