Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's just like the Real World with babies
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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