I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
