out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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