So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My underwear smells like fireworks.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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