I wish I could punch you in the face.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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