so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are two peas in an std pod
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
