I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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