I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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