your parents love me but you hate me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
