In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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