In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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