People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
