His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
