He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My ass is underappreciated
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
