hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
