Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
