I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize