Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
