So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
