I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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