all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
