What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
