I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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