Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize