Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize