the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
