Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
