so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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