i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
