Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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