Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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