no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
