we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
