I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
