As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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