I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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