I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
