2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
