You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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