I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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