He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
