There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
