would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
