Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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