Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
