I just pynch a tree in the face
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
