You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
