Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
farters have to be the big spoon...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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