Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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