Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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