8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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