I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
