TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
