NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
