I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
