I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
