Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
