i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
